In previous articles, we’ve talked about being a giver v. taker, solving your own problems, solving your boss’ problems, and knowing your bottom-line value.

This week, you’ll get two more strategies that you can use as you negotiate your salary.

Have fun with this!


Asking for a raise is not a one-time deal. Rather, it is a series of conversations built on a strong relationship you have with your boss and other decision-makers.

If you’ve had success using the one-time salary negotiation conversation in the past, good for you. I assure you, you are part of the minority.

For the vast majority of us, getting a raise requires patience and persistence. It requires building a conversation. It requires actually being worth the salary that you’re asking for and building the trust necessary to ask for it.

In fact, depending on what type of bump in pay you’re looking for it could take weeks, months, or even years to ask for more green without appearing mean or demanding.

One of my favorite books on how to build an effective job promotion plan is 30 Day Job Promotion by expert career coach Susan Whitcomb. Also, there are some great tips found in this Harvard Business Review article.

Remember, it’s not a one-and-done, it’s an authentic and strategic conversation.


Negotiating your salary requires you to be awesome at work by delivering bottom-line value and building an authentic conversation with your boss.

As you both discuss salary, understand that money is a touchy subject for the majority of people. There can be a lot of emotion attached to it. This may be  true for you and likely is true for your boss.

So, as you broach the subject of money, be aware of your emotions around it.  And help your boss stay calm in the process too. Tread carefully.

How can you do this?

First, it’s helpful to know what triggers someone’s fight - flight - freeze response or “crazy” mode.

David Rock published an article in the NeuroLeadership Journal that outlines the five threats that cause others to go into “crazy” mode. The threats relate to a person’s perceived status, autonomy, certainty, relatedness, and fairness. You can read more about the threats here.

As you negotiate your salary, you’ll want to manage your own threat responses and help manage those of your supervisor’s. If you accidentally trigger a threat response in your boss, responding with calmness can do much to deflate the situation.

Remember, the threat is not real!

Second, focus on gratitude and the long-term relationship you’re building with your boss.

Let’s say that you get told “no” to your raise request. After all, “no” is one of the options in salary negotiation.

Prepare yourself ahead of time by painting a picture of how you want to respond to that answer.

Remind yourself of the long-term, big-picture partnership that you want to have with your boss. Remind yourself about how grateful you are for the job you have. Remind yourself that this is not a life and death situation - you are okay!


If you’ve found this salary negotiation series helpful, please leave a comment below. And, if you’d like other career-building strategies and tips, sign up for your free course here. Make it a great day!