If you have ever seen the romantic comedy “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” you will get a quick mental image of actor Kate Hudson contriving to persuade her co-star, Matthew McConaughey, to break up with her. In the hilarity that ensues, Hudson embarks on a series of tried and true techniques known to drive a man away. While true love ultimately reigns supreme for this screen couple, Hudson’s efforts are admirable and can be applied to other areas of life - including your employment. If you want to lose your job in 10 days or less, please follow the three simple steps below:
#1 No personal ownership allowed
The key here is to view your employment as a job rather than your job. If you have no personal investment in your work, you will be sure to do the bare minimum each day. This will involve submitting subpar work, delaying and missing deadlines, and above all maintaining an entitled mindset, which Merriam-Webster defines as “the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something.”
Keeping this mindset will allow you to avoid that feeling of trying, failing, trying again, and succeeding. Instead, you will only wait for opportunity and success to be handed to you.
#2 Aggravate your boss
This is very important. The one person you do not want to make happy is your boss. There are various ways to accomplish this, but one technique is to fail to communicate in person. Go above her head, behind her back, or anywhere but directly to her about an issue. You can also call your boss out in meetings, make him look bad with your shoddy work, embarrass him in front of clients, and disrupt productivity with a display of shockingly poor interpersonal skills in general - see step 3.
#3 Make enemies of your colleagues
To complete this step, it is essential that you display absolutely no emotional intelligence. In their book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, authors Bradberry and Greaves suggest increasing your emotional intelligence through self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. All of these skills must be scrupulously avoided. Instead, aim for an atmosphere where you can be moody, passive-aggressive, and unaware of your own emotions and those of others. Oh, and be sure to disagree with others at every opportunity. This is critical.
If followed carefully, these steps will lead to a miserable professional life and the misery of those around you. You will experience unsuccessful projects, failed relationships, isolation, and with perseverance, termination of your employment. Congratulations!
What about you?
Coming back around to our comedy, Hudson’s efforts do in fact work. The guy ditches her. However, that is not the end of the story. Fortunately for Hudson and McConaughey, and viewers everywhere, a change of heart and a change of approach result in the first steps towards a successful relationship and much happier ending.
Where is your current approach to your work and professional relationships leading you? How do you want your story to end?